An open letter to the brave you

Let’s call it cliche but in an instant, we managed to build a foundation that strongly brought us together — without both of us noticing. It was merely the most celebrated relationship I had to date. There were no labels, may it be work or friendship.

 Once, I’ve always wanted to tell you how much I adore your ‘passion,’ and that passion you’ve always displayed motivates me to come to work everyday. It was also the same passion that made me grow new leaders to keep the boat sailing. That alone made me do a lot of things I never imagine I am capable of. For the first time, I was a favorite.

We met in an awkward circumstance. Back then, I was a fresh little warrior. I am really brave to explore what lies ahead. Ideal. Strong. Independent. I was very independent that I ended up being your hay and rock for quite a while. Quietly, a shock absorber but I performed well. Figuratively, I am taking in all the bad vibes they throw on you. Those days, we were sailing through the winds of life in search for the worldly treasures. We keep sailing no matter how much the boat sinks. It was difficult but I kept my silence.

You are the bravest person I met. You tell me how you feel and is always there to comfort me during my tough times, be it work or personal. Name it, we’ve talked about it. I always love the sound of your laugh. I always thought it was real. When I doubt myself, you were there telling me to stay strong because you got me covered. I did and you kept your promises intact.

Miscommunication is inevitable but we managed to outgrow it. There were even instances that we lack the words but with just one look– it says it all. The first time I saw you cry, you were looking straight on me. It was a beg for me to stay. I know your tears were very much sincere but I don’t know how sincere the excuses were. I tried fooling myself, I believed you. I stayed because you told me you need me. I was lost. I was restless but I kept it all inside. Call me martyr but I’ll go miles to support you because it was the same support you gave me. I guess I became passionate like you. Supporting you, drastically means losing myself but I managed to do it perfectly. Your promises, it was all a gamble on me.

You were and will always be brave. I know it by heart. I may not say it always but thank you for everything. Thank you for making me grow through you. I was hot-headed but you’ve always kept your cool. You hear what my heart says, not my words. You look at me in the eyes directly. Something I can’t even do. That alone, I know you are honest in everything you tell me. — I thought. Until the very last moment, the last handshake, the last tears. It was the most precious thing I’ll remember about you.

“Position makes people”

Once you told me it was position that makes people and power gives people more time for pleasure. Now, I want to give you freedom to build yourself without me. I messed up. I’m sorry. I want you to build yourself and hold on to your position.

Sorry because I am no longer brave. And recently, I learned that you were no longer the same person I met before — or maybe you are just showing the real you now. Please keep your passion burning as I try to search for the missing pieces I lost within me. I know people change but I hope when our paths cross again, I am going to meet the same brave you. The same brave you whom at some point in my life completed the missing lyrics of my song, help me rebuild myself– and made me write my first open letter. There’s something I want you to know, I’ve always like your favorite songs that it’s in my top list on my spotify playlist.

To the brave you, when we meet again. I hope it will be in the same coffee shop where we spent hours talking. I hope you still like iced Americano and my favorite Banoffee pie and macademia cookie. I wish when we meet again, it’s no longer a difficult circumstance. If that day would come, please be brave to walk back on me and I swear to God, I’ll be a better ‘Ella.’ Better than the one you keep calling the ‘best.’ When that day comes, I will also prove my worth, that I am not nobody. I’m so sorry that I left just like that. I do hope you are better now, better than the person I met. I wish you can manage to find good people to surround you to fulfill your dreams. No matter what, I am always thankful that I met a good friend, an older brother and an idol in a brave man like you.